


We're Beautifully Broken

by EmeraldTulip



Series: What's Right In Front of You [1]
Category: Lab Rats (TV 2012), Lab Rats: Elite Force (TV), Mighty Med
Genre: Angst, F/M, Future Tense, How Do I Tag, POV Second Person, Romance, also i promise i use proper punctuation just not in my a/ns, but mostly in a dark way because lets face it, i mean I'm writing dark romance fanfics like the trash i am, oh well, these guys never have it easy, what am I doing with my life
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-10-02
Updated: 2016-10-02
Packaged: 2018-08-19 03:17:20
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,734
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8187478
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/EmeraldTulip/pseuds/EmeraldTulip
Summary: You loved her. You love her still. Just by being there, by being around, she made you fall in love with her, and loving her… loving her made you forgot how much you hated yourself. And then she fell in love with the right person—but the right person wasn’t you. You only watched as she fell for someone else. But she was happy, so that was all you needed. You think. You thought. // OR: All the ways that love can ruin you, and the ways you turn it to gold.





	

**Author's Note:**

> what with the skoliver endgame they have going on now, i decided not to adhere to that. im not very in love with skoliver anyway (like, im fine with it, but i have other ships i like more), and i do think that skase would have a really roller coaster-y relationship.
> 
> (this will be sort of cross-posted on ff.net, but in a different tense because they dont allow second person there for some reason. this is also vaguely inspired by my six word story collection i have over there.)
> 
> hope you enjoy!

_I love you (and it hurts)_

* * *

She’ll never know how much you love her. You’ll never tell her. Because she doesn’t want you. No one wants you, they never have, so why should she be any different?

You have tried, of course. Tried to create a friendship between the two of you that you might have hoped would become something more. She never quite took to the idea. So, you suppose, that’s how you ended up here, standing in front of her, waiting to give her something that could very well kill her instead of save her like it is intended to.

And why are you doing this again?

Because the guy who has liked her for years and years longer than you wants to give her everything she doesn’t have so she’ll fall for him instead of you.

But that brings up the question again: why are you doing this?

Maybe it’s for the same reason as him. Maybe you can’t stand to see her like that, defenseless and powerless. Maybe you can’t stand the thought of her in another one of those cells like after that very first fight. Maybe you don’t want her hurting anymore. And even if that means losing her to someone else… it makes her happy, and that’s all you want for her.

So you do it.

You give her a small dose of her biggest weakness in the hopes she’ll be better. Even if it means letting her slip further away.

* * *

_I love you (and I’m waiting)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but she won’t choose him, at least not right away. It will make you happy in some sick, dark, twisted part of you, buried deep in your heart.

But it will be tantalizing—she will talk to you more than before, help you in your experiments. And she will be so close. But then _he_ will always be there, too, watching you like a hawk to make sure you don’t steal ‘his girl’.

 _She’s not yours_ , you will want to scream. _She doesn’t belong to you. She doesn’t want you._ You will want to yell and throw things to let him know that he has to move on with his life.

But that’s your darkness talking. In reality, you will know that clinging to a dream isn’t healthy—your old one of a world without your abilities and complications, his of _her_. He’s wanted her for years, and if it hasn’t happened yet there’s no way it could now. He deserves a girl who will put him first— _she_ will always put the world first. He deserves a girl who treats him like everything— _she_ will always have something else to focus on. He deserves better than _her_.

You don’t. Of course you don’t. So you will wait for it. For _her_.

* * *

_I love you (and you don’t)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but she will begin to turn to you in her times of trouble.

 _I’m not good enough for him,_ she will tell to you as she collapses into sobs in your arms one night.

She will have gone on a date with him just the hour before. It will have gone wrong, of course—doesn’t it always—but it doesn’t change the fact that she will have agreed to go out with him. It also doesn't change the fact that both you and she will know that she was lying through her perfect alien teeth when she said she had a good time. (And you both will know that he doesn’t deserve that lie.)

You will want to comfort her, but there’s nothing you can say that will change the fact that no, she isn’t good enough. You tell her that.

She’ll cry even harder, and it will be so hard for you to not reach out and wipe the tears spilling from her dark eyes, but you refrain because you know she understands why you said that. _I’m never good enough_ , she’ll whisper. _Not for him, not for the team, not for y—_

She will cut herself off, avert her gaze. You won’t make her look back, won’t make her finish, won’t make her explain, because you understand, too.

You know what it’s like to love someone so completely yet still hate yourself. People say it’s not possible, but aren’t you and her living proof that the impossible happens every day?

Even so, you won’t understand how someone so amazing and beautiful can hate themselves so completely like she does. You never will understand that, and you won’t ask.

* * *

_I love you (I’m going mad)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but she won’t talk about that night (you’ll never speak about that night ever again), even when your sister finds the two of you in the morning curled up on the couch with tear tracks on both of your faces.

 _She_ will make both you and your sister promise not to tell anyone, and of course you will agree. Of course you do, because you can never resist.

And then she goes back to _him_.

She will have been half-dating him for only a week, but it will quickly be getting insufferable. He will be clingy and jealous, and she will _let him be that way._

 _You’ve gone on one date_ , you will want to tell him. _That doesn’t mean a thing_. You will know how you would follow up with statistics on how unlikely it is that this image of an ideal romance with her he has will happen. You will be able to imagine how you would say it, too, with dark, harsh eyes and a blank face.

You will also know how terrible it would feel for him to hear those words and face the truth. Oddly enough, that will make you want to tell him even more.

You will be able to tell that _this_ particular obsession of your own is getting out of hand—weren’t you just saying earlier that no one should let this happen, lest the truth rot you from the inside out?

You will hardly care anymore. You will let it fester and sicken within you. You’re in too deep, now.

* * *

_I love you (I’m still waiting)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but it will have been too long, and you _will_ know it. You will not listen to your own advice. You will let your obsession with her consume you, and it will certainly show. You will rush to her side whenever she needs you, you’ll throw yourself into the line of fire, you’ll help your pyrokinetic teammate prank _him_. Revenge is best served with chocolate syrup and swiss cheese, you’ll say through a harsh and bitter laugh.

He’ll yell at you, chocolate syrup dripping from his hair onto his clothes and the floor, swiss cheese stuck to his legs and arms. He won't understand why you’re doing it, and honestly, you don’t understand either. You pretend not to care, but you think about it anyway.

Why do you hate him? Why do you put up with him? Why is everything suddenly so hard to figure out? Just… why?

It all leads back to her. It’s her, and you will know it, but you will not be able to let go.

* * *

_I love you (you’re worth it)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but you will wake up screaming one night from a dream—a nightmare, more like it—and she’ll be there in less than a second. She will be the only one to have heard you through your soundproof box.

She’ll open the door and take your hand, lead you down the stairs without waking your roommates—who happen to be her boyfriend and best guy friend. You won’t realize that you’re doing it, but you will send her boyfriend a look.

She’ll make no noise as you make your way downstairs, and you will do your best to follow suit. She’ll sit you down on the couch you spent that night crying on a few weeks ago. She won’t mention that.

Instead, she’ll ask you what happened to wake you up.

And because it’s three in the morning and your defenses are down, and maybe a little bit because she looks so sincere and sad in her dark, loose pajamas with her hair falling past her shoulders in straight waves she hasn’t curled to superhero perfection yet, you’ll tell her. You will tell her your story, which she doesn’t know, because you and your sister don’t like to talk about it. You will tell her about your two brothers and your cousin. You will tell her what the dangerous missions the three of them have been sending you letters telling you about are, and how you worry. You will tell her how you fear that one day you will wake up with an emptiness within you and you’ll just somehow _know_ that they are gone. You will tell her how you don’t think you could bear to lose them, and that hurts worst of all.

She’ll stay silent for a moment before quietly saying, _I understand._

She isn’t lying, you will know. She will have lost a planet full of people, of friends. She will have lost her ability to get back there to her previous best friend who will be dead in a lava pit. She will have been stranded on this planet.

You will just say _thank you_.

She’ll ask you, _for what?_

And you’ll hesitate, think ‘ _screw it_ ’, and then reply with simple _for being you._

For now, it’s enough for you to say.

She will only manage a small voice to say _okay._

 _I’ll wait_ , you tell her even though she won’t understand. And you won’t say what you think next out loud, but the look on her face will make you think she can read your mind before you remember she can’t: _I’ll wait for however long it takes. You’re worth it._

* * *

_I love you (still, still, still)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but a lot will change after that night.

You will wake up screaming more often than not, and she will always be there to calm you down.

It won’t make your obsession any better, but you will have improved at hiding it.

She still will be dating _him_ , after all. You will never be able to let him know of the feelings you harbor for his girlfriend. Because you do have morals, even if you will ignore them ninety-seven percent of the time.

But every day feels like dying. You will wake up surprised to find that your heavy heart is still beating.

But you will wait. You’ll always wait, because this horrible, twisted, awful feeling of what must be tortured love will not leave you.

* * *

_I love you (and that’s okay)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but you will make peace with it. And you don’t know it yet, but the moment you accept it is the moment it comes crashing down.

You will tell yourself that _she is not going to be with me when she can have_ him _. I won’t ruin her happiness._

And one day after that, you will hear them arguing on the terrace.

 _I’m sorry_ , she will tell him. _But I’m also not. You’re my friend, I can’t hurt you like this anymore._

 _You’re not hurting me_ , he’ll snap.

 _I am_ , she’ll insist softly. _You deserve better._

He will shake his head adamantly. _You were my dream_ , he’ll say. _You are everything I ever wanted. Please don’t leave._

She’ll look up at him with dark eyes brimming with tears, and her voice will be laced with frustration, anger, and sadness—an odd combination coming from her throat. _I was your dream_ , she will agree. _But I—me, real life me, not comic book superhero me you adored—don’t live up to that dream, and I never will._ And suddenly, she will start saying what you’ve been thinking all along. _You deserve someone who loves you for who you are, who looks at_ you _like the hero, not the other way around. You deserve someone better than me. You have to let this dream of_ us _go, Oliver, for both of our sakes._

 _Please, Skylar, don’t,_ he’ll whisper brokenly.

 _You don’t want to be with a broken girl_ , she will say. _I can’t be fixed. You deserve better than me._ She’ll turn around and walk inside, and you will barely have time to whirl into the kitchen and pretend to make lunch to avoid her knowing you eavesdropped.

You will think to yourself that you have accepted your fate without her, that you have to stick with that.

But no. That conversation will remind you of your obsession. Not only will it remind you, but it will consume you completely.

* * *

_I love you (and it’s golden)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but she will take your hand in the broad daylight—with everyone watching—just three weeks after that.

You will be working, rattling off lists of numbers and names to your team—Oliver ignoring it all and texting a new friend he made out in the city—before your sister says, _Chase, relax. We got this._

You will take a breath, heeding her words, and then begin to type again, speaking slower and clearer. It’s only a matter of time, however, before you speed back up again, desperate to solve this superhero mystery.

A cold touch will startle you slightly, and you’ll look down to see slender fingers resting on your wrist. She will look up at you, eyes bright rather than dark, for once, shining with something warmer than silver but just as bright, and she will say one word: _calm._

You will listen to her and pretend you don’t feel her golden—yes, it isn’t silver, but _gold_ —light slowly mending the cracks and warps in the foundation of your heart.

* * *

_I love you (we’re beautifully broken)_

* * *

You don’t know it yet, but you will save her and she will save you.

She will get captured yet again (and with her, the golden light that will have been keeping you together), and you will tear apart the facility your enemies have constructed. You will demolish it, leave shattered glass, broken concrete, bodies and blood. (There will be no survivors.)

You will find her, and you will bring her home. She will cry, not from the happiness of being free but of sadness and fear because she will see what she has done to you by waiting, how she has changed you.

And she will drag your face down and kiss you in front of everyone, desperate and weak, pleading with you to forgive her for waiting too long and hating herself and for being broken and to _please please just be Chase Davenport_ again.

And after a moment of stunned silence, letting her gold warm you once again, you will kiss her back and whisper a simple _okay_ against her lips, because really, that’s all you need to say.

Everything else can wait: the _you saved me_ s and the _thank you_ s and the _we’re both broken_ s and the _I love you_ s can wait for another day.

Your sister will be crying (because do you really think _Bree Davenport_ of all people won’t have tried to fix you sooner?) and the hotheaded fire boy will chuckle softly because _of course he knew all along_ (because Kaz has always been strangely insightful with these things) and the boy who knows to find someone who deserves him will smile a bittersweet smile because you have saved the girl he still has a semblance of love for (and it will pass in time, you will know, but you will also know that Oliver will always love this beautiful broken alien girl, the incredible _Skylar Storm_ , in one way or another).

But you don’t know any of that yet. So far, all you know is that you may have a chance to save this girl you are in love with but think you can never tell (but boy, are you wrong. For once, you are wrong, and you will find that you will never have been happier to be wrong), and though you might lose her, she is worth anything to you. So you will do it—of course you will. The rest will follow.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always appreciated.


End file.
